


I should know

by Madiii



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Childhood Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Rated T for Trashmouth, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, The other losers are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22111732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madiii/pseuds/Madiii
Summary: Somewhere along the way of their friendship, after getting into bar fights and having movie nights Richie realises he might be in love with his childhood friend Eddie. He proceeds to freak out about it.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	I should know

It had always been Richie and Eddie together, sure the other losers were also there but Richie and Eddie had always been something else.

They did everything together back when they were younger and nothing has changed that now that they were college students. The only thing that changed was that they also shared a dorm room.

Every now and then they both would stay up the whole night. Sometimes just to work on their papers and offer the other support and advice on their respective papers. And sometimes they would spend the whole night cuddled up on one of their beds watching movies.

Other nights they would go out to some club with the other losers. And on one of those occasions, Eddie got a stupid comment from a guy three times Richie’s size. But Richie still started a fight with him, of course, he did. What else was he supposed to do, just stand by and let that guy get away with it? No matter what Eddie did, Richie wouldn’t stop, not until the other losers had to drag him away from the guy and out of the club.

So that night Eddie dragged a beaten up Richie back to their dorm. Eddie didn’t understand why Richie would always do this. He had to know that he couldn’t win a fight against someone three times his size, right? So why even start a fight? But that was just how Richie was, Eddie thought. He would do that for all the other losers too, for sure. Right?

As Eddie dragged him back, Richie thought more about what had happened. Would he really start a fight he would lose anyway for any of the losers? Or just for Eddie? He was sure he would do it for all the losers since he loved them all, but there was something else about this.

The more he thought about this, he realized that no, he wouldn’t go and start a fight he knew he would lose for all of the losers. He would do almost anything for the others, but not that. But he would do anything for Eddie, apparently, that included starting a fight with a guy three times his size.

He just wants Eddie to be happy, and if that means getting beat up, it’s fine for him. And it doesn’t mean anything, right? Just because he would do anything for Eddie, it doesn’t mean he feels different for him, right? It was just because he was closest to Eddie, right? Right.

Then that same night, back in the dorm, Eddie asked him if he could borrow one of Richie’s hoodies to sleep in since all of his were dirty, so of course, Richie said yes. And then after they both had changed into their sleep clothes, Eddie took a closer look at Richies beaten up face. 

He was so close that Richie could feel Eddie’s breath on his face, and he had his soft hands all over Richie’s face and he was so concerned, but still, the typical Eddie who would call him a dick for moving so much when he was trying to see how bad Richie’s bruises were.

That was when it hit Richie. That was when he realized that he did have different feelings for Eddie, compared to the rest of the losers. Fuck. He, Richie Tozier, was actually in fucking love with Eddie Kaspbrak for most of his fucking life. How did he never notice that, how can someone not realize they are in love with their best friend? He can’t believe how oblivious he was. What the actual hell.

But no matter what, now that Richie knew what he felt, he definitely couldn’t tell Eddie. There’s no way Eddie will feel the same and the last thing Richie wants to do is ruin his friendship with him. If he couldn’t have Eddie as a friend anymore, Richie wouldn’t know what to do, he would be lost. He just has to keep quiet and act like before he realized.

It turns out that it’s a lot harder to act like before now that Richie realized he’s actually in love with Eddie. He’s constantly hyperaware of Eddie and the things he does. He never noticed how close they actually are when they’re watching movies, for example. Eddie is literally pressed up against him and Richie can’t help but notice it, and every time Eddie moves Richie just focuses on him instead of on the movie. How has he never noticed how close they sit and how much Eddie actually moves? It’s like he can’t sit still, which is normally more a problem for himself.

Another thing Richie is now hyperaware of are Eddie’s hands, every time their hand accidentally brush against each other, Richie has to suppress the urge to grab his hand and just hold it. What Richie also notices is that Eddie’s hands are always fucking cold, which just makes the urge to grab them and warm them up even bigger.

He just wants to be close to Eddie all the time. So he begins to walk closer to Eddie, so their hands brush against each other since he can’t hold Eddie’s hand. Another thing he does is sitting way closer to him when they are out with the other losers. He tries to be close to Eddie in every way possible without being too obvious about his fucking feelings.

Why the hell did he have to realize it anyway? Why couldn’t he continue to be oblivious? His life would be so much easier if he didn’t realize how fucking much he loves Eddie. Now he is constantly distracted by realizing Eddie is cute no matter what he does and stares at him all the time.

Richie fucking hoped that Eddie didn’t notice that something had changed for him. He still didn’t want to risk their friendship, just because of his fucking feelings. So he just hoped he was like this even before he realized his feelings, maybe he was subconsciously always like this with Eddie, even before. He didn’t really believe it, but that hope was all he had at this moment.

But Eddie did notice, or Richie thought so at least because Eddie began to behave differently too.

After a while, Eddie seemed to back away every time Richie came closer to him and he stopped asking Richie for his hoodies, he also stopped wearing the one he already had in his closet. Those appeared back in Richie’s closet over the course of a few days, freshly washed. 

So apparently Eddie felt uncomfortable with Richie getting closer to him, but didn’t want to say anything to him, so he just backed away every time, thought Richie.

And since Richie would do anything for Eddie, and the last thing he wanted to do was make him uncomfortable, he would let Eddie have his space. Even if it hurt him in the process. 

He wouldn’t walk so close to him anymore, he wouldn’t sit so close and he wouldn’t almost cuddle him anymore while watching movies from now on. No matter what he would keep his distance and keep to himself for Eddie’s sake.

But there was one thing that confused Richie about this whole thing after he distanced himself from Eddie a bit, Eddie seemed sad. And with every ongoing day and week, Eddie seemed sadder. And although Richie was curious as to why Eddie was sad and wanted to comfort him, he also didn’t want to make Eddie uncomfortable again, so he didn’t say anything.

However Eddie just seemed to get even sadder, so after a few more days Richie had enough. He couldn’t take it anymore, Eddie looked so fucking sad and it was getting too much. He just had to know what was going on now, just so he could comfort him and maybe fuck up whatever made him sad in the first place.

He hated seeing his friends sad but seeing Eddie sad was so much worse than seeing any other loser sad. So he just had to get over his stupid feelings for now and be there for Eddie as a best friend.

When he confronted Eddie later that day in their dorm though, something he didn’t expect to happen happened. Before he could even finish asking Eddie why he was sad, Eddie began to cry.

So Richie did the only thing that seemed logical to him at that moment, and what always calmed Eddie down, hugging him. Closeness be damned, he had no idea how to calm Eddie down otherwise. Eddie always needed physical contact in situations like this. 

After hugging for a while, Eddie seemed to have calmed down a little bit, but he still didn’t speak in full sentences. And he seemed to say sorry over and over again? What the hell was he apologizing for? If someone had to apologize it was Richie, he was the one who got to close and made Eddie uncomfortable.

And if Richie wasn’t worried before he definitely was now, what if Eddie gave himself the fault for all of it. Richie wouldn’t put it past Eddie to give himself the fault for something he couldn’t do anything about.

Also, Eddie was still mumbling into his shoulder and Richie could barely make out anything besides “sorry”, “feelings for you” and “don’t want to ruin”, which didn’t help him understand why Eddie was so sad but gave him unnecessary hope that Eddie could maybe feel the same.

But as fast as the hope had blossomed he pushed it down again because damn it, this was about Eddie and his feelings and not Richie and how he was in love with Eddie. Come on get it together Richie.

So Richie just continued to hug Eddie and rubbed his hand over his back, in an attempt to comfort him and apparently that worked, because after a few more minutes Eddie had calmed down and stopped crying.

Now that he had stopped crying Eddie awkwardly disentangled himself from the hug, but he still didn’t look much happier. So Richie began to do what he does best, talking so much that Eddie has to tell him sooner or later. 

It has always been like this, Eddie would interrupt Richie sooner or later when he was ready to tell him what was going on. And as predicted Eddie told him after an hour of just Riche rambling about everything. Well, everything except his feelings for Eddie.

However, what Eddie did say threw Richie for a loop. Eddie had actually said that he had feelings for him, that’s why he backed away when Richie got closer. Because he couldn’t handle being so close to Richie without telling him how he felt. Richie couldn’t believe it.

But before Richie could get a word him and tell Eddie that he felt the same, Eddie rambled on and on about how he was sorry and how he felt awful about distancing himself and how he hoped that this wouldn’t ruin their friendship. So Richie basically had no other choice than to interrupt Eddie by shouting, “I feel the same, dumbass!”.

Now it was Eddies time to be shocked for once. After Richie had burst out his feelings he literally froze midsentence and didn’t react until Richie waved his hands before Eddie’s face. Which prompted Eddie to just take the hand Richie had just waved in front his face and interlace their fingers.

Richie couldn’t do anything else than stare at their now interlocked hands, this was all he ever wished for. Well, almost everything.

“Hey, can I kiss you?”, Richie asked, and stepped closer to Eddie so that their noses were almost touching.

Instead of answering Eddie stood up on his tiptoes and closed the last bit of distance between them.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr](www.fandom-wonderland.tumblr.com) and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/bvchananbarness?s=09), and if you just want to keep up with my writing i have a [writeblr here](https://maddieiswriting.tumblr.com/).


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